Lesbians in Japan and South Korea have long been ignored in both academic, and in social context. The assumption that there are no lesbians in Japan or South Korea dominates a large population in these societies, because lesbians do not identify as such in the public domain. Instead they often live double lives showing one side of themselves to the public and another in private. Although there exist no formal laws against homosexuality, a social barrier in relation to coming out to one’s family, friends or co-workers is highly present. Shame, embarrassment and fear of being rejected as deviant or abnormal makes it difficult to step outside of the bonds put on by society’s hetero-normative structures.What is it like to be lesbian in contemporary Japan and South Korea? In my dissertation I look closely at the Japanese and South Korean society’s attitudes towards young lesbians, examining their experiences concerning identity, invisibility, family relations, the question of marriage and how they see themselves in society. I also touch upon how they meet others in spite of their invisibility as well as giving some insight to the way they chose to live their life. Some may choose marriage because it is considered common sense; others might attempt to stand up to society’s expectations and chose a different life path. Ironically however, some of the methods used inadvertently contribute to maintaining their invisibility, consolidating the myth that ‘there are no lesbians in Japan or South Korea’.